Turning to Face Yourself

Not everyone may have a dramatically memorable event as I have but I believe that there comes a time in every person’s life when they realize that their actions impact other people. I don’t remember how old I was when this happened to me but I remember the events like it all happened yesterday. I was at the local mall with my mom shopping for Christmas presents. I wandered into the book store and found something that I really wanted – for myself. She was out of the store so I seized the opportunity and bought it. Of course, I then couldn’t avoid her seeing the bag but I also couldn’t show her what I had bought or she would know it was for no one but me. She was right there so I had to think quickly, in a flash I had a brilliant idea. Who is that for? “I bought a Christmas present for you, mom.” It was perfect, it wasn’t for me and I couldn’t show her because it was a surprise!

When Christmas morning finally arrived I had completely forgotten about the gift. We opened present after present until there was nothing under the tree. I was asked about another gift, a special gift I had gotten on my own for my mom. I don’t even remember how I responded but I do remember the pain I caused her and how absolutely terrible that felt. So terrible in fact that I have never forgotten exactly how I felt.

I believe judgment in front of God will be much like this story. How terrible it will be to stand with God and face the truth of all the poor decisions and selfish actions you committed in your life. To see God pained and disappointed as these things are reviewed.

How unimaginable it will be to have you face yourself with God.

So what happened that Christmas morning after we left the tree? Was I spanked or grounded? Did I face a lecture about how to treat other people? No. My parents did none of it. Truthfully, they could not have done anything that would have made me feel worse or to understand any more how serious my actions were. I suspect that God will do much the same. I am not sure that eternal fire would be as bad as having to see how much you let God down.

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